TITLE: i never wanted to need someone
RATING: PG
PROMPT: "I can accept failure, everyone fails at something. But I can't accept not trying." -Michael Jordan
FANDOM/SERIES: Granblue Fantasy
WORD COUNT: 3,978
DISCLAIMER: I do not, in any way, profit from the story and all creative rights to the characters belong to their original creator(s).
SUMMARY: Princess Societte can't - doesn't want to - imagine the rest of her life spent with a stranger that's sure to be dull.
What she isn't expecting is a girl like fire to blow through her doors and integrate seamlessly into her life until Societte can't imagine life without her.
i never wanted to need someone
When she is age five and learning how to read, Societte is fed on a steady diet of stories.
Most of them are fantastical, involving dragons and knights and magic that favors those who win a battle. Societte listens and is captivated by tales of princesses who are strong and capable and do the rescuing instead of being the ones needing rescuing.
She falls a little in love with those princesses with every new story that she hears. Someday, Societte thinks, she's going to be one of them.
Evelyn simply smiles at her daughter whenever she makes such proclamations. They're made from pure childhood innocence, and who is she to discourage such things?
When Societte is ten and has devoured every tale available to her, she begins to realize that being a queen will not necessarily be as exciting as she's been led to believe.
Her father begins to teach her how to run a country, and while Societte can't say that she dislikes it, it's much duller than she expected it to be. "Father," she asks one time, tugging on a sleeve of his robes to get his attention, "why do we have to do so many things?"
"Because, sweetie, we don't want ordinary people to worry about these sorts of things. That's what being a ruler is about, yes?"
Societte nods, but then she looks up to really see her father and takes in the grey hairs, the wrinkles, and the tiredness in his eyes. "But it looks so hard, Father. Can I really do it?"
Alastair laughs (but it's a sad sort of sound, Societte can tell) and picks his daughter up. "Of course you can. You're more capable than you think you are, and I wouldn't want anyone else running this country after me and your mother. I'm only sad that I can't give you any other choices."
"I'll be alright!" Societte beams. She's still a kid, she can't deny that not being able to be just like her childhood heroes is a little disappointing, but the relief and the small smile on Alastair's face is worth it. "You'll teach me everything?"
"Of course I will. I'll be able to help you every step of the way."
True to his word, Alastair makes sure that either he or his wife is always there to ease Societte into her future royal duties. Evelyn brings Societte to her first meeting when she's thirteen and sits her in the back, where Societte nearly falls asleep listening to old men arguing over one financial issue or another. Alastair starts taking Societte on cross-country trips with him when she turns fourteen, where she enjoys the company of people her age that the public would approve of.
When Societte turns seventeen, she first begins to hear about marriage and she panicks.
"Societte, remember what I told you before?" Alastair tries to calm her. "I did say that I was going to help you every step of the way. This is no exception."
"Yes," Societte says, sounding confident but extremely lost.
"It won't be so bad!" Evelyn chimes in. "Me and your father were an arranged marriage, and we've turned out fine, if I do say so myself."
"Yes," Societte says, sounding less confident and still extremely lost.
Alastair smiles in what he hopes is a reassuring manner. "I give you my word as a king and as your father that everything will be absolutely fine. And if not, well…"
He trails off, unsure, before brightening back up. "We'll find another way. We're not the rulers of this country for nothing, yes?"
"Yes," Societte repeats one more time, before involuntarily letting out a yawn that she had been holding in for the duration of the impromptu meeting. "Can I...can I go to bed now?"
"Of course you can, we've kept you awake long enough. And don't worry about a thing, okay? Let us do the worrying for you. Or, well, most of the worrying. Okay?"
"M'kay, good night."
One last yawn, and Societte retreats back towards her room, anxiety allayed enough to allow her to drift into a dreamless sleep. Alastair and Evelyn stay up a little while longer, preparing letters to be sent out the next day before turning out all the lights and going to bed themselves.
(The next morning, Societte wakes up in another panic - in worrying about her future, she had completely forgotten about her imminent doom. And as much as her tutor loves Societte, she doesn't think that failing to pass yet another history exam will endear herself any more to her teacher.
The issue of marriage completely slips Societte's mind when she has to sit through nearly an hour of disappointed teacher mumblings and convince her that it'll never happen again, promise.)
One by one, over the course of a month, the letters start to come in. Some of them are polite refusals, stating that their heir already has a marriage planned or is currently too occupied with other matters to deal with anything else at the moment. Some have a tinge of regret to them, saying something along the lines of "wish we could help, send us an invitation to the wedding!"
However good the intentions are, though, one thing is becoming very clear - the royal family is running out of time and options fast.
"What we think will work," Evelyn presents to Societte one day over breakfast, "is we pick one of your father's best knights. You don't have to do this, we'll make sure to cancel all the plans if you don't want to go through with them. But if you're willing to give this a chance, I'll bring her over during lunch so you two can get to know each other."
"O-Okay," Societte speaks through her half-asleep state. Then it hits her, halfway through a bite of egg, and she nearly drops her fork in surprise.
"Her?" she blurts out. "It's - um, it's a girl?"
"Er…yes?"
Evelyn shoots Alastair a look over the table, as if to say See? I told you we should have asked first. "I hope that you don't mind...she's one of our best, physically and morally - "
"I! Don't mind at all, I'd love to…meet her…"
Societte trails off, but her parents continue to look at her until she mutters "better than marrying a wrinkly old man."
That sets everyone off in hearty laughter. "Better not let the other princes hear that," Alistair wheezes out - "oh, but I'll set everything up, you just need to be back here for lunch."
"M'kay!" Societte manages between bites of her previously forgotten egg. "I'll try not to be late."
Societte is, in fact, horrifyingly early.
Her nerves convince her that it's better to sit in front of the dining hall for half an hour than risk a last minute duty or two taking up her time. Then they switch to worrying about whether or not there's something urgent that Societte should be doing, then to wondering if she's late after all, because there's pacing noises coming from inside the room…?
Or, she shudders, it might be someone dangerous.
Oh, she hates this, but this is all part of being a better ruler, right?
Right.
Societte takes a few deep breaths, then flings a door open and draws a dagger from her undergarments. "Excuse me," she says, hoping to every deity she can think of that her voice isn't trembling, "but I'm afraid you're not supposed to be - "
She locks eyes with another girl. She looks around Societte's age; long dark hair, light armor, rather beautiful face frozen in an expression of shock at Societte ready to hurl a weapon at her chest.
"Oh, sh - uh," she stutters. "You the princess?"
All that Societte can do is blink. "I - I am? Are you the knight?"
"Yeah, that's me" is all that the other girl can get out before she doubles over in laughter.
"So sorry," she wheezes, "this is just so surreal, you don't even know my name yet and we're supposed to be married in, like, four months, and then you nearly attack me. It's - oh man - it's Yuel, by the way. My name."
"I'm Societte…but I guess you knew that already, huh."
"Aw, I don't mind you telling me again! 'S like the normal dating process, where you get to know the other person and decide whether you like 'em or not."
The only thing that manages to do is bring an awkward silence over the room.
"Which reminds me, I can't believe I'm asking this when we've only been talking for a few minutes, but do you like me? Doesn't have to be romantic in any way, but I'm not about to let the princess of this country do something that she doesn't want to."
A bemused smile crosses Societte's face. "I don't...hate you, if that's what you mean. But, um, what do you mean about not making me…?"
"You're kidding me." Yuel outright stares at Societte, not caring anymore if it comes off as rude.
Societte shrinks back into herself, shaking her head rapidly.
"Oh no, I'm so sorry, I was told that you're not great with strangers but I didn't think before I - "
Yuel rubs her eyes hard, then grins sheepishly. "Lemme try that again. You've got your own reasons for this sort of thing, right? If ya don't mind, I'd love to hear some of those."
Unable to think of anything self-demeaning for once in her life, Societte can only gape at Yuel. Yuel blinks back, unaware of the mess inside Societte's head. "Uh, did I say something wrong?" she squeaks out. "I thought I was good at this sort of thing, but apparently not."
"We're both terrible at this," Societte says so mournfully and with such a straight face that all it takes is one glance from Yuel for them both burst out in laughter.
Societte stops laughing last and raises her head. Yuel is looking at her so earnestly, with a toothy grin on her face and and eyes shining so brightly that it's suddenly hard for Societte to breathe. "Mother and Father gave me an option," she mumbles, dropping her head so her gaze is pointed towards the ground. "I can marry or not, it would be my own choice. But it's for the good of the country, isn't it? I really would like for us to have peace, and happiness, and...all of those storybook-kingdom-sounding things. But I can't do it on my own, and I don't know how i feel about anyone else running the country."
Making a small noise in the back of her throat, Yuel nods sagely. "Can't say I understand your exact situation, but I think I get it. It's like me 'n King Alastair; I'm one of his personal guards, but sometimes he wants to use someone else for a task. Which is fine, I mean, he can do what he wants, y'know? But I feel sorta anxious with his life in someone else's hands."
"Yes, that's - that's exactly how I feel!" Societte exclaims, excitement entering her voice for the first time today. Too late, she realizes her slip-up and slaps a hand over her own mouth, but Yuel is there to gently pry it away (and then lets go in embarrassment).
"Ya don't have to restrain yourself around me. I'm constantly over-energetic anyway, at least that's what everyone else in my unit tells me, so don't worry about comin' off too strong!"
"Thanks, really. It's...maybe too soon to tell, but I feel...nice around you. That's what I think of you right now, um, to answer your previous question."
"Oh!" Yuel's face lights up and she beams at Societte. "I think you're a really good friend too, so I'll make ya a deal of sorts, okay?"
That catches Societte off-guard. "...Sure? What is it?"
Yuel leans in conspiratorially - Societte can't help but mirror her motions. "I'm thinking, you give me a month. I court you, do all those things that people do when they're dating. Then when the month's up, if ya don't feel like I'm the kind of person you could spend the rest of your life with, call off the engagement."
Whatever Societte was expecting, that was not it. "B-but," she stammers, eyes widening, "what about - "
"Aw, don't think about what anyone else is gonna say. King - uh, your dad told you that you have a choice, right? That definitely means that he trusts your judgement, and he's got somethin' up his sleeve no matter what you choose. So don't stress over it too much, just go by your instincts. Promise?"
Yuel sticks out her pinky finger.
Societte stares at it, half wanting to giggle at the childish innocence of the action, half wanting to truly let go of her inhibitions like Yuel had suggested that she do. She hesitantly reaches out her own pinky, linking it with Yuel's, and shakes their hands once.
"Then," she says quietly, "how about we start with...lunch? I'm starting to feel hungry."
"Thought you'd never ask!" Yuel laughs. "I'm feelin' starved too."
She skips off towards the opposite end of the table from Societte's chair, but this time Societte is the one who reaches out to stop her. "Wait, please," she speaks haltingly, and tugs Yuel's arm once. "I want...could you sit next to me? It's easier to talk to you that way."
Yuel's smile grows even bigger, something that Societte didn't even know was possible. She follows Societte's lead without further prompting, bouncing like an overeager puppy in her excitement.
"Anything for you, princess!"
The first thing that Societte discovers from spending time with Yuel is that it makes her ridiculously happy when the other girl greets her in the morning.
She's managed to convince her parents to not go public with any announcements yet, not until she's gotten to know Yuel better. Her and Yuel's little deal is still a secret, and the logic holds up in the face of scrutiny, so for now, Yuel remains a friend in the public eye.
A friend. A friend that she spends almost all of her free time with. A friend that, frankly, Societte may have developed a tiny crush on, but she has no idea how to approach the subject at all.
...She's fine with just continuing their nightly talks over a plate of midnight snacks. Yuel was the one who started them, barging into Societte's room one day and whining about not being able to sleep. Which she regretted almost immediately, seeing how startled Societte was at her sudden unannounced entrance, leading to a good ten minutes being dedicated to apologies and you don't need to apologize, honest, and I need to stop coming a centimeter from stabbing you in the heart.
It's the perfect way to wind down after a long and stressful day, and Societte wonders why she didn't do this before. Yuel talks about dumb things that happen during training (someone accidentally making a hole in a stone wall, for example). Societte complains about her ever-increasing list of royal duties, the towering stack of paperwork assigned by Alastair on her desk, the not-quite-mandatory meetings full of stubborn old men that she really, really does not want to deal with.
"Hell, all this political stuff sounds tiring. Don't you ever wish you could leave it all?" Yuel sighs one day, flopping dramatically onto Societte's bed.
Societte just shrugs as best as she can and buries her head into Yuel's lap.
"I chose this, so I don't mind terribly. But dealing with so many different people in just one day…"
She lets out a long yawn appropriate to the conversation. Yuel laughs and sits back up to play with Societte's hair.
"Now that ya mention it, I should probably be going soon. Gotta get that beauty sleep, yeah?"
"Mmm," Societte agrees half-heartedly, but doesn't show any intention of moving from her current spot.
"I mean it!"
"Mmmmmm. What if I don't want to?"
Yuel sticks out her tongue but doesn't attempt to do anything more. "You're spoiled, that's what you are."
"Aren't you the one who spoils me?"
"Aw, heck."
Face delightfully red, Yuel turns to face the door and all Societte can do is giggle. "Oh, but in all seriousness, can you... do me a favor?"
"Huh? 'Course I can, what d'you need?"
"W-Well, there's a ball coming up that Father's hosting to celebrate the anniversary of the kingdom's foundation, and...I have to go, but I go every year. It really isn't too big of a deal. But every year, Mother allows me to bring a plus one. And I was...was thinking…"
Just say it, Societte's consciousness screams at her, but her mouth seems to be physically frozen in place.
"You were thinking…?" Yuel prompts, head cocked to one side in mild curiosity. "But hey, ya haven't been this nervous around me in a really long time. If ya don't want to say it, don't push yourself."
"No, I want to do this," Societte blurts out. She watches Yuel raise an eyebrow at her in doubt, then exhales loudly once and tries again.
"I was thinking...do you want to be my plus one? It...It'll be fun, and I think I might actually be...lonely without you there."
"Oh," Yuel says, face turning an even brighter shade of red. "I dunno, I don't mind goin' with you, but...ya don't care what anyone else is gonna say when they see me there?"
"Hey. You were the one who told me not to care, weren't you?"
"You're right, I did, I'm proud of you. Look at ya, using my own words against me!"
And in one swift move, Yuel's kneeling down on the floor and taking one of Societte's hands in her own, pressing a swift kiss onto her knuckles and standing up as if nothing had happened. Societte's eyes snap up, but Yuel is already looking away from her and on her way out the door.
"Anything for you, princess."
The days fly by in an flurry of anxiety and far too many outfit preparations, and the ball arrives with disappointingly little fanfare.
Societte tugs on the collar of her dress, wondering if it's physically possible for it to get even lower than it already is. "Isn't this...a little excessive?" she whispers. "I'm not, um, trying to seduce anyone…"
"Oh, honey," is all that she gets in response from Evelyn. Her mother - her own mother - winks at her and nudges her lightly, mouthing go get 'em before exiting the room to do some of her own preparations before the event starts.
Societte thinks that she dies a little on the inside.
A little voice pipes up from behind Societte, and she's very suddenly reminded that there is, in fact, someone else in the room. "I," Lyria, her handmaiden, says hesitantly, "can fix that if you want? I don't think you need to seduce anyone...Yuel's really nice, she already loves you, she won't care about a thing like this."
"I know that, but that just makes it worse."
Holding her head in her hands, Societte moans in despair - then something in her brain clicks, and her head flies back up.
"Wait. Could you...could you repeat that?"
"Uh?" Lyria blinks rapidly. "I can fix your dress? Yuel's really nice? She loves you - "
"She does?"
"It's...I hate to say this, I really do, but it's a little obvious? You two aren't...exactly...subtle."
"She…"
Patting down her neckline, Societte straightens her back with new resolve. "I...I'll leave it like this. I have something...important to do tonight."
"Oh? O-Oh!"
Lyria's eyes sparkle as she jumps up from her previous position and patters over to Societte. She squeezes her around the torso in an almost breathtaking hug, being careful not to ruin the dress; Societte allows this one hug to fill her up with all of the confidence that she knows she's going to need tonight.
"You're going to do great," Lyria assures her.
"I sure hope so," Societte replies shakily, allowing herself to stop and give Lyria one last headpat.
She exhales loudly.
Turns around.
Walks out of the room, into the hallway, and towards her certain doom.
The classical music that's playing almost (almost) makes Societte want to scream, but she doesn't. Tonight, she acts as a proper princess should - back ramrod straight; taking small, gliding steps; quietly and demurely making her way towards the ballroom.
Yuel is there already, waiting for her, and it shouldn't surprise Societte as much as it does because they had already agreed upon this beforehand. But there's something about the way that Yuel wears her simple, almost minimalistic black sheath dress - something about the way that the fur lining of it curls almost invitingly along her neck - that makes her seem like a blazing fire, and that sets Societte herself on fire and gives her the courage to take Yuel's offered arm.
She doesn't miss the quick once-over that she's given, nor the lingering gaze on her neckline.
"Um," Yuel says thickly, struggling to get the words out. "May I have this dance?"
"You certainly may," Societte laughs before spinning them both into orbit and joining the clusters of couples already occupying the dance floor.
They spend some moments purely enjoying the action of dancing with each other, holding each other close and twirling their way across the floor. Yuel dips Societte once, completely out of the blue, and Societte comes up laughing before she remembers what, exactly, she was planning to do.
She leans in close - closer - until her lips are barely touching Yuel's left ear, and whispers "it's been a month, hasn't it?"
Yuel goes through a myriad of expressions in just a few seconds. Confused, understanding, and fear cycle across her face until she finally settles on resignation. "I get it. But I tried my best, so you can do whatever - "
"Let me finish," Societte smiles, pressing a finger against Yuel's lips to make her stop talking.
"When I was young, Mother read me all sorts of stories. They - well, they weren't the most realistic ones, since they had dragons and magic and we obviously don't have those. But my favorite stories were always the ones with the princesses, with the strong princesses that seemed capable of doing anything that they set their mind to."
Yuel's eyes progressively grow wider, but she doesn't dare talk. Societte removes her finger and lets her hand hover uselessly between them.
"I loved those princesses. I always thought that I'd want to be one, but I know now that I can't. I'm too shy, not fond of conflicts, would rather deal with paperwork than with my own countrymen. But I still love them, even now."
Yuel's eyebrows are positively up to the ceiling at this point.
"...You remind me of them, if I must tell the truth."
"And?" Yuel blurts out, unable to contain herself anymore. "Are ya tryin' to say that - "
"I am. I'm trying to say that I love you, Yuel, and I'm sorry for being so rude to you at first. And, um, if you still want to, would you do me the honor of marrying me?"
Yuel squeals, which...would probably be a more enjoyable experience if they weren't only a few centimeters apart. Her hands fly up from Societte's waist to her face, closing what little distance is left until they're properly kissing, mouths moving together awkwardly and teeth bumping but it's perfect, it's absolutely perfect.
They both pull away at the same time, gasping and oxygen-deprived, and Yuel takes the opportunity to giddily twirl Societte one more time before holding her tightly in her arms again.
"Anything for you, my princess."
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